The following comes from the FEAR NOT series and was written by Walt. It is a story from his life.
“But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke him up and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” Mark 4 :38
When we left the shore, there was not a cloud in the sky. Our rowboat, equipped with an 18HP Mercury outboard motor, quickly moved us across the water. My son Noah and I planned to do a little fishing. We were anxious to get started.
As you might know, Prior Lake is a good-sized body of water. It took about fifteen minutes of clipping along at a decent speed to reach the fishing spot, where we had some success a few weeks ago.
Arriving, we shut down the outboard motor and dropped our anchor. Within minutes, our lines were baited and wet. In silence, we waited for the better part of an hour. As the saying goes, "Ffishing is patience and faith awaiting a nibble."
Waiting for our first nibble, I noticed that the sky was darkening. After pointing out the advancing weather to Noah, I suggested that we should head back to shore. The menacing clouds were lightening up the sky with flashes of light.
Remembering the science lessons of my youth, I began counting—one Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi. And so on. I counted out an entire minute and never heard the thunder. We were safe, but the situation was changing rapidly.
After a few unsuccessful tries, the old Mercury outboard turned over. With my hand on the tiller, I rotated the handle and brought us up to maximum speed. Flash. One Mississippi. Two Mississippi, etc. Still safe, however, now I could hear the thunder. The storm front was heading our way. We were now in a frantic race to the boat ramp, which was still too far away to see.
Our boat bounced over the waves. Until that point, the surface was reasonably calm for such a large body of water. Now the waves asserted themselves with fierce anger. They smashed against the side of the aluminum rowboat. Fighting water and time, we continued to make progress. Until...
The outboard motor went overboard!
At first, I didn't see it or realize what was happening. I was looking ahead, steering in the direction of an unseen boat ramp. The sound of the motor, however, started to gurgle and whine. My hand, which was bare knuckling the handle at the end of the tiller, strangely moved backward. It was like some lake monster grabbed me and was pulling me to the depths of Prior Lake!
Turning around, I saw that the motor, with the propeller still turning, was no longer attached to the boat. The only thing connecting it to the vessel was my firm grip.
The sequence of events that followed is still a little fuzzy in my mind. Holding on tightly, I twisted the handle, shutting the motor off. Noah rushed from the bow to help. We schlepped the heavy outboard into the boat.
Although we saved the Mercury, our rapid escape stalled. Shifting to oar-power, we made little progress to the boat ramp. To make matters worse, the separation between the sky's light and the accompanying boom was now within the danger zone.
Everything happened so fast that I didn't have time to be afraid. That said, a sure dread prevailed. In my mind, it was a foregone conclusion - something horrible was going to happen. I lost trust in anything but the worst-case scenario.
I wonder if that isn't what the disciples felt in the storm on the Sea of Galilee? On that large lake, they crossed over the threshold of fear into a place of despair and certain doom. Even though they were seasoned fishers, they lost trust in their ability to survive. They also lost confidence in God's presence. It didn't seem like Jesus even cared!
When trust falters, we quickly forget abilities, resources, and relationships. Fight or flight sets in, and we react. On auto-pilot, we push through or run away in a frantic way. Usually, we do this by ourselves. Alone. We shut out everyone else - including God.
At least, that is what I find myself doing. From experience, it isn't all that pretty or productive. I overlook solutions, help, and others. The nightmare only deepens as it seems like I'm never going to see the light of another day. I forget God's promise always to be near.
I have come to learn that it is at this point in the downward spiral that I need to stop and take a deep breath. Breathe. Push the panic away. Breathe. Reevaluate. Breathe. Where am I? Breathe. Whose am I?
Breathe - allow trust in God's presence to seep back into the dehydrated places of my soul. No longer is the lie of loneliness clanging the bell within my disquieted self. A new sound emerges. The truth that God remains in my boat awakens. God is with me!
Let's go back to that day on Prior Lake. Again, the events are somewhat fuzzy. Somewhere in all the confusion, I took a deep breath. The panic lessened a bit. Focus returned in a small but significant measure. Things became a little clearer: row; look for help. Confidence eased back as we embraced calm.
I continued to row as hard as I could. Noah managed to attract the attention of another boater who was also racing for the shore. A kind neighbor threw us a tow rope and hauled us to the boat ramp.
Somehow, we got the boat out of the water before the heavens opened up with wind, rain, and lightning. Sitting in the parking lot, with a secured boat and motor inside, we sighed relief. Thank God we were safe!
Although the day could have turned out tragically, it didn't. The experience restored trust in ourselves and each other. It also reminded us of the presence of God in challenging times. God doesn't leave us alone. Instead of abandoning us, God is as close as our next deep breath. That presence can calm the stormiest of seas outside and within ourselves.
A PRAYER FOR YOU:
God of storm and calm,
in the living giving waters of our baptism,
you promised always to be near.
In my fears,
troubles,
and panic
calm my anxious spirit.
Help me to take a deep breath
and trust in your steadfast love and presence.
Through Christ, amen.
© 2020 Walt Lichtenberger. All rights reserved.