First Week of Easter: From FEAR to LIGHT

STEP ONE: BREATHE

Take a deep, cleansing breath. Allow the air to fill your lungs and expand your body. Exhale and empty yourself into the room. Repeat three times - once for the one who Created you, once for the Incarnate One who walks beside you, and once for the Spirit whose life fills your being.

STEP TWO: DWELL IN WORD

“I will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you. In a little while the world will no longer see me, but you will see me; because I live, you also will live.”
”

— John 14:18-19

A Jesus-Story Retold - before the good news “fear not”

Everyone knows what wandering rabbis are like: radical, idealistic, and cryptic. Or at least that has been my experience with Jesus, may G-d bless him.

Right now is a prime example. Here we are, gathered together for Passover. After travelling from place to place, it’s nice to just be still. To be with friends and family, remembering how G-d freed us.

Now Jesus is talking about going somewhere. Which isn’t that strange, we’re always traveling. But without us? What does he mean he’s preparing this new place for us? Isn’t the whole point to be here, in Jerusalem? Where is a better place than here?

I can feel the confusion in the room. Of course no one wants to speak up and ask for an explanation. They might look foolish. But I’d rather know what he’s talking about. I mean, what’s the point of following him if not to learn from him?

“Lord,” I say, “we don’t know where you are going. How can we know the way?”

If possible, he became even more cryptic. Even I don’t know what to ask.

And I think… I think he’s not talking about going to Galilee or Bethlehem or even Samaria. I’m beginning to think he’s talking about… his death. But how can that be?

Maybe he’s anticipating being jailed. Like I mentioned, he’s got radical ideas and he’s not afraid to share them. Maybe that’s why he’s talking about a paraclete, an advocate type person. He’s anticipating he’s going to need -- maybe we’re all going to need -- someone to represent us in a courtroom. This isn’t good.

Not just being on trial, but the lawyer bit. First it was tax collectors, and now lawyers are welcomed, included, and lifted up? What’s next?

Or maybe the question is why not? If I can figure out how to love them, then I can figure out how to love anybody as our Lord has loved us.

But I’m just distracting myself. It’s not good when I’d rather think he’s talking about a lawyer type person in an earthly context than face what he’s actually talking about. I think… I think he’s really talking about his death when he says, “He’s going to his Father.”

This is not what I signed up for.

The food that tasted so good moments before now sits in my gut like a rock. The wine now gurgles like an acidic vinegar. A room that had felt cheerful and cozy with candlelight now feels suffocating. It’s not the light I notice, but the shadows.

The shadow of the valley of death is cast over us all, starting with our rabbi, whose words are cold comfort. What good is an advocate to abide with us, to walk with us if he’s dead? What good is love, other than to make our grief more complete?

Why him? Why?

STEP THREE: PRAY

Lord, even when we don’t know where you are going, when we don’t know the way, remind us that you are our way, our truth, our light. Amen

Today’s devotion is by Pastor Meredith McGrath. Pastor Meredith currently serves Elim Lutheran in Scandia, Minnesota. Before Elim, she was a pastor at Good Shepherd Lutheran in La Cross, Wisconsin. Prior to that, she worked in Higher Education, handling student misconduct.